What’s cracking, y’all? Only nine days till Christmas AND The Voice finale tonight?!?!? Can I get a toot toot?!?!

5. FYI: Always remember to be thankful that you live in the greatest country in the world! In Soviet Russia, friends slap you!

4. Sure, slapping the crap out of each other can be badass, but you know what’s really badass…?

3. Why is that video great? It’s because it makes the most of a situation.

Care to see the opposite?

2. There’s not much to say here, just that this is all that’s right in the world.

1. Finally, I want to give a shout out to my friend Stacy and Plan B Agency for gracing the cover of AdWeek, an honor well deserved.

See you in a .gif, Alex