AboutDan Bortz – PorchDrinking.com
I’m jealous of every PorchDrinker this week. I have been working too much to enjoy any fine craft brews. Luckily, I get to live vicariously through each and every one of them. Don’t worry about me, fair readers. My liver shall be vindicated next week. I’ll be vacationing in Myrtle Beach and will have nothing to do except imbibe. Does anyone have bail money to lend me in advance? This is What We’re Drinking!
Featured Image Credits: Lehighvalley.org, Pixabay.com and Easton-pa.com
You have never heard of the Lehigh Valley. Sure, Fortune magazine listed it as one of the top ten places for companies to locate corporate finance and IT operations in May 2015. And yes, the Urban Land Institute called Allentown (the largest city in “The Valley”) a “national success story” for the redevelopment and transformation of its downtown area. You still haven’t heard of it. This region of eastern Pennsylvania may cover three counties and multiple municipalities (most notably Allentown, Bethlehem, and Easton), but everything kind of blends together here. It’s no big deal to drive two cities over to get dinner. You have never considered spending a weekend here, but maybe you should.
I’m getting ready to go on vacation! My destination may not be a world-renowned beer town like Portland or Denver, but I’m sure I will find a way to enjoy some delicious craft brews. For those of you who are forced to stay home and endure your normal slog, I present you with a week’s worth of beer news and shenanigans. You can read The Weekly Buzz while you pretend to do your TPS reports. I, on the other hand, will be in Myrtle Beach drinking beer and pretending that I like the beach.
If there was one thing that helped me get through a rough week at work, it is knowing that the social media coordinator at Wicked Weed Brewing has a much harder job. Any time a craft brewer is bought out by big beer, you can be 100% certain that a twitterstorm of epic proportions is on the horizon. It’s a meteorological fact. Ask any scientist. I can’t even get Wicked Weed in my state, and it’s still a sad turn of events. My hatred of ABInBev burns with the intensity of a thousand suns. They’ll probably merge with Walmart next, forming the Buy-N-Large corporation, which will eventually force us from this planet to aimlessly roam the galaxy (a la the Disney/Pixar film Wall-E).
Featured image credit: Lucasfilm
Happy Star Wars Day! Today we celebrate a science fiction franchise that has crossed over into so many forms of media that it is hard to keep track. The casual observer will know the movies, of course, but there is so much more to the Star Wars universe. These beloved characters, vehicles, and planets are also featured in comic books, novels, television shows, and video games.
Are you thinking about having kids? Parenting is one of the most beautiful, rewarding, alcoholism-inducing jobs you can have, but they don’t even pay you for it. NOTHING. Well…there is that tax break, but it doesn’t quite cover the costs. If raising children was a business, your ledger would always be in the red.
Luckily, there are plenty of non-monetary upsides to having kids. They are snuggly, weird creatures whose love and adoration far outweighs the havoc they create. Cuddling makes you forget the back-talk. Their strange pronunciation of words allows you to overlook the minor property damage. Kisses make the lack of sleep seem less terrible. There is, however, one thing that I’m unable to overlook: children’s entertainment.
It’s definitely springtime now! Do you know what that means?! It means doing some ACTUAL drinking on ACTUAL porches! I’m sorry if I seem overexcited, but this is what every PorchDrinker lives for. We’re going to drink at ballparks. We’ll be drinking on patios. There might even be some picnic drinking! Take your laptop out to the porch, crack open a beer, and take some notes. We’re about to put on a serious PorchDrinking demonstration in this week’s edition of What We’re Drinking.
Ugh. I just realized that I have to mow my lawn today. It is out of control. On the bright side, I get to enjoy a lawnmower beer (or 5). I suggest that you do not follow in my footsteps. Yard work is bull crap. Instead, you should sit on your porch, crack open a fresh beer and hope someone else mows it for you. You can even read this week’s edition of The Weekly Buzz. Reading tweets about beer is WAY more fun than pushing a lawnmower. If you follow this advice, you’ll be much happier (until your municipality fines you for the length of your grass).
Featured Image Credit: Heineken.com
We all have different opinions and different views of the world, but it is key that we learn to have open and honest discussions about those differences. If no one is willing to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you end up with a divided nation full of people who are more interested in stalling their opponents’ agendas than in finding a path toward the common good. The new “Worlds Apart” video from Heineken posits that beer can be key to discovering that common ground.
Featured Image courtesy of Upland Brewing Company.
Bloomington, Indiana brewery Upland Brewing Company has partnered with Penn Beer to expand the distribution of their wood-aged sour beers to the Philadelphia area. The first of their brews to reach the City of Brotherly love will be Hopsynth, Iridescent and a limited quantity of Cursed Kettles, which will be available on tap at specialty craft beer bars and bottle shops.
The inclusion of so many Pennsylvania breweries was a happy accident brought on by sleep deprivation, but I’m sticking with it. I love the beers brewed in my commonwealth and thing that you should drink them no matter where you live. I will personally guide any and all beer tourists to the best breweries in PA. I mean… I’ll do it if I’m not busy. I’ll probably be busy… Have no fear, dear reader. We have plenty of fun the rest of the country in this edition of The Weekly Buzz, too.
Another week has flown by, and the PorchDrinkers have been enjoying lots of beers. So many beers. The best beers. Whether you’re looking for new brews to taste or wistfully dreaming away your last workday before the weekend, you’ll find what you seek right here. Lean back in your office chair, set your phone to “Do Not Disturb”, and prepare to discover What We’re Drinking.
It’s CBC week at The Weekly Buzz! Unless you’re living in a bubble, you probably picked up on the fact that the 2017 Craft Brewers Conference took place this week. This event is put on by the Brewers Association and is THE trade show for the craft beer industry. Because I love my family more than beer, I was unable to attend and will forever be a bitter, bitter man.
Avg. Reading Time: 1 min
ABV: 8.1% | IBU: 101
Sometimes, after working night shift, a beer really hits the spot. Society might not approve of the fact that I’m drinking beer at 7:30 in the morning, but I really don’t care what they think. This morning, my wind-down beverage was a Cumulus Lupulus Imperial IPA from Terrapin Beer Company. I almost forgot that I had put it in the fridge a few days ago, but that beautiful blue can and its floating clouds caught my eye.
Featured image logo credit: Pittsburgh Craft Beer Week
Yinz better mark your calendars because Pittsburgh Craft Beer Week (PCBW) is back and bigger than ever! Running from April 21 – 30, the sixth annual PCBW will play host to 18 local breweries, which is a record number for this event. There will be plenty of regional and national craft breweries in attendance as well.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “Work is for suckers.” The overtime checks are nice, but the more time I spend at work, the less time I can spend tirelessly searching Twitter on your behalf. My employers just don’t understand that I like my readers more than I like them. I sacrificed my own health and well-being by forgoing sleep and compiling this week’s edition of The Weekly Buzz.
ABV: 7.5% | IBU: 50
I was recently able to get my hands on this year’s four variations of Starr Hill Brewery‘s King of Hop. As a person of relatively simple tastes, my favorite version was the original Imperial IPA. The others all brought something interesting to the table, but this base beer is was made them all so good.
On March 30, the Brewers of PA (BOP) hosted the sixth annual Meeting of the Malts. This event is a gathering of breweries from Pennsylvania and beyond to discuss the current state of the industry, as well as to celebrate their common passion: craft beer.
Through no fault of our own, we didn’t get to post What We’re Drinking last week. The opposition party believes that this was caused by a vast international conspiracy. Luckily, the chairman of the House Beer Blog Oversight Committee assures me that there is nothing to worry about and has canceled all future hearings on the matter. We should be in the clear, as long as Fake Tears over in the Senate doesn’t dig too deep into this. In order to wipe this minor oversight from your minds, I present a special two-week edition of What We’re Drinking. Fake news!