AboutDan Bortz – PorchDrinking.com
Independence Day may have already passed us by, but the porchdrinking continues at a feverish pace. With several heat waves underway throughout these United States, it is only logical that we cool our hot bodies and fiery tempers with some cold brews. This is What We’re Drinking.
Are you tired of hearing me complain about my job? Well, you’re in luck! My ridiculously long work weeks are coming to an end soon, and I couldn’t be happier. How does my employer expect me to waste time on Twitter while working a 70-hour week? Joke’s on them! I do it on the clock. Anyway, here’s all the nonsense that I discovered while I while shirking my responsibilities. This is The Weekly Buzz!
Heads up, Pennsylvania beer enthusiasts! The Brewers of Pennsylvania (BOP), the state’s official brewers guild, has released the details about the 2018 Meeting of the Malts. As usual, it promises to be one of the premier events of the Keystone State’s craft beer scene.
This week we celebrated our independence from the crown. Nationwide, record-high temperatures inspired us to drink the finest, coldest beers we could get our hands on. Not only did they quench our thirst, but they provided a diversion from the horrifying hellscape of our current government. Why have one beer when you can have six? This is What We’re Drinking.
This week has been an absolute nightmare. I have been working ridiculous hours at my day job, and the cell service in my office isn’t even good enough to load Twitter. Luckily, Wednesday was Independence Day, so I had plenty of holiday posts to choose from. Prepare to feel very patriotic. It’s time to crack open The Weekly Buzz.
I’m back from vacation and gotten back to my daily grind. After one shift at work, I’ve decided that it is already time for another holiday. Why is that first day back always so hard? I can’t even drink beer to cope because I’m trying to undo the damage that I did with a week of seafood buffets and booze. Luckily, “Beer Twitter” was actually pretty fun this week! Here’s all the shenanigans worth sharing. It’s The Weekly Buzz!
Summer has officially arrived, and the PorchDrinking staff is wasting no time. Beautiful beers are being consumed with gusto. Now would be the time to grab a legal pad, sharpen a few pencils and prepare to take meticulous notes. We put on one hell of a craft beverage clinic this week. This is What We’re Drinking.
This week’s mini-rant is going to be dedicated to the horrifyingly low availability of craft beer in Myrtle Beach. Yes, I know that there are a few places with a halfway decent selection, BUT the Grand Strand covers a shocking long chunk of coastline. I don’t always want to drive 30 minutes round-trip just to grab a late-night sixer. Today I bought a four-pack of Miller High Life pounders in a Dollar General. That’s what I’ve sunk to. While I wallow in the depths of macro despair, I submit this edition of The Weekly Buzz.
Today is my eighth consecutive day of work. Six of those days were 12-hour shifts. I work another 12-hour day tomorrow. I’m tired. I’m cranky. There hasn’t been enough beer in my diet, so definitely send some of that my way. My social media time was limited, but I gladly burned the candle at both ends for you, my dedicated readers. Raise a pint for me, and enjoy The Weekly Buzz.
It’s been a busy week. I’m working 20 hours of overtime this week, but that’s not even what I’m talking about. Beer festival season is upon us, and the task of sorting through thousands of festival-related tweets and ‘grams has fallen to me. In the words of the demigod Maui from the Disney animated feature “Moana,” You’re welcome. This is The Weekly Buzz.
After a long weekend and a short work week, all I can think of is drinking more beer. Luckily, there will be plenty of opportunities this summer! So grab a lunch beer — something sessionable, of course — and check out this week’s beer-related social media nonsense. This is The Weekly Buzz!
I’m totally stoked for Memorial Day weekend. I don’t have to work, which in itself is a rarity, and I also used two vacation days to finagle an entire week off. But let’s not forget the reason that we don’t have to work on Monday. Use every sip of beer as an opportunity to toast those who have fallen in service to our country. They paid the ultimate price so that I could post some nonsense I found on Twitter. This is The Weekly Buzz.
Spring came very late this year, which delayed my normal drinking schedule a bit. By Easter, I’ve typically transitioned to pilsners, session IPAs and goses, but this year’s cooler temperatures had me settling back into my winter routine. It may have been fate when Sixpoint Brewery‘s Righteous Barrel-Aged Rye found its way into my fridge, and it was a welcome sight during this unseasonably cool, rainy spring.
I can’t help but notice that none of you sent me any beer for my birthday! Actually, I can. You didn’t know it was my birthday. It’s not like I have a Wikipedia page or anything. You aren’t to blame for the fact that I drank Corona Light. I made some poor life decisions. The rest of the PorchDrinking staff, however, made some very good decisions. Scroll down to discover What We’re Drinking!
I’m far too tired to give you a witty introduction. My body is aching. Migraine symptoms are setting in. I know that these are probably related to the amount of time I spend on Twitter, but I’m just too darn committed to compiling this dumb list of tweets for your enjoyment. My own well-being comes second to you. Submitted for your approval, this is The Weekly Buzz.
I need to wake up at 4 A.M. to go to the gym. I’m not sure that this is the best way to live my life. I should be staying up late, drinking beer and waking up for work at the last possible second. What’s happening to me?! Anyway, here’s a bunch of stuff I found on Twitter and Instagram. Just because I’m not drinking, doesn’t mean you can’t have your own Weekly Buzz!
This freaking weather is driving me insane. First it was cold, and now it’s 90 degrees. I just turned the heat off two days ago. It shouldn’t have been necessary to turn the air conditioner on today. Mother Nature needs to cool her jets and enjoy a fine craft beer. Despite the sweat puddle that’s accumulating under my desk, I still managed to find a bunch of fun stuff on Twitter and Instagram. Sit down in front of your favorite oscillating fan and enjoy The Weekly Buzz!
It may be unseasonably hot (at least in Pennsylvania), but the PorchDrinking staff always has the best beers to keep cool. Without cold beer, I would be reduced to a puddle on my living room floor. I’m not exaggerating – 90 degrees in early May is insane. So, crank up the AC, stock the fridge in the garage and prepare to discover What We’re Drinking!
I want to drink beer, but I don’t want to be fat. After daily two-hour workouts, I’m so tired that one beer makes me fall asleep. This wasn’t the effect I was going for. I just wanted to have a moderately repectable dad-bod. Becoming an old man who falls asleep halfway through an episode of Home Improvement was not the plan. Anyway… Here’s a bunch of stuff I found on the Internet. This is The Weekly Buzz.
Did any of you get a chance to celebrate National Beer Day? I was working nights and was too exhausted to even think about beer. My fellow PorchDrinkers, however, poured a few amazing beers down their throats. It goes without saying that I am jealous. Very jealous. This is What We’re Drinking.