Star Wars: The Hype Awakens | *Updated December 13*
This is it… the eighth and final week of PorchDrinking.com’s Star Wars hype blog. Our mission to get excited about The Force Awakens now enters its final stages, as the movie comes out this week. To follow the progress of the past seven weeks of anecdotes, viral Star Wars content, and just general nerd ecstasy, check out the links below…
And if you just want all the latest stuff, skip ahead here:
Sunday, December 13
The Force Awakens comes out in 5 days. I’ll be honest: I’ll be relieved. You know what makes waiting for something really awesome a whole lot more frustrating? Writing about how awesome the thing you’re waiting for is. It’s like I ordered a delicious pizza, then to kill an hour of time before the pizza was delivered, I decided to watch videos of pizzas being made, research the history of pizza, and write 24,000 words about pizza. In my case, the pizza is Star Wars. For the better part of 2 months, I’ve ensconced myself in a world of Star Wars canonical trivia and general anticipation. It’ll be sort of a relief to unplug when the movie comes out… to just enjoy.
Still, our time together has been educational. I’ve learned a lot about Star Wars. I hope you have, too. Or at the very least, maybe you’ve gained some insight into what Star Wars means to one diehard fan (me). Here’s a look back at what we’ve learned together, with links to catch up or refresh yourself.
What have we learned?
- Sunday, October 25 – Alec Guinness wasn’t fond of A New Hope while filming it.
- Monday, October 26 – My co-workers’ office décor shows I’m not the only nerd in the office.
- Tuesday, October 27 – Google images of cosplayers don’t count as evidence for anyone’s The Force Awakens theories.
- Wednesday, October 28 – JJ Abrams is beloved, except by an O.G. Star Trek actor he didn’t cast in the new Star Trek.
- Thursday, October 29 – The destruction of Alderaan was NOT justified.
- Friday, October 30 – Harrison Ford is wise when it comes to the right approach to spoilers
- Saturday, October 31 – Little kids in Vader costumes for Halloween are the future
- Sunday, November 1 – Harrison Ford likes George Lucas and doesn’t like interviews
- Monday, November 2 – Flying to France to see The Force Awakens early would cost $2,456.49.
- Tuesday, November 3 – There’s a lot of Star Wars merchandise I really want but don’t need.
- Wednesday, November 4 – The Phantom Menace was a disaster behind the scenes.
- Thursday, November 5 – Wookieepedia is an excellent resource for learning way more than necessary about the world of Star Wars.
- Friday, November 6 – The international trailer for The Force Awakens had great new shots.
- Saturday, November 7 – The question of which Star Wars movie is best can change over time.
- Sunday, November 8 – George Lucas was fined $250,000 for that epic New Hope crawl.
- Monday, November 9 – TV spots started coming out.
- Tuesday, November 10 – The National Cathedral in Washington, DC has a real sculpture of Darth Vader’s helmet affixed to it.
- Wednesday, November 11 – Entertainment Weekly gave away details of a Force Awakens plot we’ve seen before
- Thursday, November 12 – Oscar Isaac has come a long way from playing Detective Fartman.
- Friday, November 13 – Hillary Clinton shares a Myers-Briggs personality type with Darth Vader.
- Saturday, November 14 – You can’t call a fan-made trailer “epic” just because it combines Star Wars and “Always Sunny.”
- Sunday, November 15 – Even the most remote areas of California have Star Wars-themed merchandise.
- Monday, November 16 – My grandfather made me the coolest Star Wars toy I ever owned.
- Tuesday, November 17 – Luke Skywalker killed 369,470 people.
- Wednesday, November 18 – History says The Force Awakens is going to crush Tina Fey & Amy Poehler’s movie at the box office.
- Thursday, November 19 – The cantina band has more backstory than anyone could have ever guessed.
- Friday, November 20 – Jabba the Hutt is the epitome of George Lucas meddling with his masterpiece with terrible results.
- Saturday, November 21 – Star Wars trailers have a long history of building hype.
- Sunday, November 22 – Presales for the new movie have already surpassed many movies from 2015.
- Monday, November 23 – Disneyland is the center of Star Wars hype.
- Tuesday, November 24 – It’s fun to watch kids find out the truth about Vader.
- Wednesday, November 25 – The best order for watching the movies is 4, 5, 2, 3, 6.
- Thursday, November 26 – My friend Jake & I wrote Star Wars/Space Jam crossover fan fiction in 1997.
- Friday, November 27 – Boba Fett deserves his status as a fan favorite because he was a badass.
- Saturday, November 28 – Empire Strikes Back almost had a campy slapstick scene.
- Sunday, November 29 – That dude from “Girls” is now the face of the franchise.
- Monday, November 30 – There’s a pink robot in Star Wars canon which has a very special real-life origin story.
- Tuesday, December 1 – The guy who wrote the “Hamilton” musical wrote a new cantina song with JJ.
- Wednesday, December 2 – Han shot first, but it shouldn’t matter.
- Thursday, December 3 – The rebels ruined the galactic economy.
- Friday, December 4 – John Boyega does a pretty convincing Pinocchio from “Shrek.”
- Saturday, December 5 – Daisy Ridley & Oscar Isaac also have a talent; they sing well together.
- Sunday, December 6 – The guy inside Vader’s suit sounds nothing like Vader’s voice, and was left in the dark about that whole “father” thing.
- Monday, December 7 – Every Christmas tree should have Star Wars ornaments.
- Tuesday, December 8 – Don’t bury rare action figures in a park.
- Wednesday, December 9 – The worst thing I can say about The Force Awakens is that George Lucas likes it.
- Thursday, December 10 – People don’t care about reserved seating; they just LIKE camping out for the premiere.
- Friday, December 11 – It’s cool to watch a $150 Millennium Falcon break into 1,300 pieces.
- Saturday, December 12 – Donald Trump would make a good Vader.
And then there’s the few lessons we’ll learn in these last few days.