Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image
Scroll to top


No Comments

Fourteen Year Old Girl Hacks Kobe Bryant’s Facebook Page

Fourteen Year Old Girl Hacks Kobe Bryant’s Facebook Page
Adam Reeves

In a game against the Golden State Warriors Friday, Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant suffered a painful and season-ending rupture of his Achilles tendon. More painful, though, is what would happen next.

On Saturday, after an MRI confirmed the nature of his injury, a fourteen-year-old girl hacked Bryant’s Facebook account. In a lengthy missive posted at 3:30 AM (below), the pre-teen prankster vented the frustration shared by all Lakers fans through various ALL CAPS, misspellings, and nonsensical text-speak. It is unclear, however, whether the author confused Bryant’s Achilles with her now ex-boyfriend’s decision to dump her. “This is such BS!” she wrote and noted existentially that “The anger is rage.” Despite the fleeting nature of young love, the apparently jilted identity thief  wrote that “THIS is the WORST thing EVER!” After successive paragraphs of self pity, Bryant’s hacker calls on the wisdom of Confucius, telling Kobe’s Facebook followers that “If you see me in a fight with a bear, prey for the bear.”* Over the angsty sounds of Taylor Swift,** Bryant’s hacker finished her rant, stating “LOL. Maybe now I can actually get some sleep.”

*From this spelling, it is unclear whether Cofucius believed he was the unnecessary recipient of heavenly overtures or just about to be the bear’s lunchmeat.

**This fact has not yet been confirmed, but is probably true.

Authorities are still searching for the hacker’s identity and have focused their search at a Forever 21 inside a nearby mall.  A media representative for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department told reporters that, initially, no one suspected foul play until a sheriff’s deputy actually read the post. “After an injury like that, it’s natural to vent. But seriously, look at how it’s spelled. ‘LOL’? Who LOL’s at their own Achilles injury. Something like that hurts.” Bryant, oddly, has made no comment regarding the incident.


This is such BS! All the training and sacrifice just flew out the window with one step that I’ve done millions of times! The frustration is unbearable. The anger is rage. Why the hell did this happen ?!? Makes no damn sense. Now I’m supposed to come back from this and be the same player Or better at 35?!? How in the world am I supposed to do that?? 
I have NO CLUE. Do I have the consistent will to overcome this thing? Maybe I should break out the rocking chair and reminisce on the career that 
was. Maybe this is how my book 
ends. Maybe Father Time has defeated me…Then again maybe not! It’s 3:30am, my foot feels like dead weight, my head is spinning from the pain meds and I’m wide awake. Forgive my Venting but what’s the purpose of social media if I won’t bring it to you Real No Image?? Feels good to vent, let it out. To feel as if THIS is the WORST thing EVER! Because After ALL the venting, a real perspective sets in. There are far greater issues/challenges in the world then a torn achilles. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, find the silver lining and get to work with the same belief, same drive and same conviction as ever. 
One day, the beginning of a new career journey will commence. Today is NOT that day. 
“If you see me in a fight with a bear, prey for the bear”. Ive always loved that quote. Thats “mamba mentality” we don’t quit, we don’t cower, we don’t run. We endure and conquer. 
I know it’s a long post but I’m Facebook Venting LOL. Maybe now I can actually get some sleep and be excited for surgery tomorrow. First step of a new challenge. 
Guess I will be Coach Vino the rest of this season. I have faith in my teammates. They will come thru. 
Thank you for all your prayers and support. Much Love Always. 
Mamba Out


Submit a Comment

10 − 7 =