How to Dress for July 4th

Independence Day is almost here, and that means it’s time to pick out a red, white and blue outfit. Preferably one with stars and stripes.

Oh, you’ve already done that? Congratulations. This means you are not a procrastinator, which is a good thing. It also means we can’t be friends, because you are clearly better at life than I am and I just won’t stand for that shit.

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