Oh here we go, here we go, here we go again: it’s another week in pop culture. Time to fill up your delicious, zombie-food cranium with all you need to sound like a worldly phenom of entertainment media to your friends, co-workers, and strangers in bars. So take a break from the riveting athletic spectacle of the Olympics; it’s culture time.

First and foremost – the Kane is dead, long live the Kane!  For the first time in fifty years, “Citizen Kane” has been dethroned as the greatest movie of all time. In a once-per-decade international film critic’s poll, Alfred Hitchcock’s “Vertigo” finally usurped the long running champion by only a few votes. So when someone asks you what the greatest movie ever is, you can now tell them with utmost certainty, that it is “Casablanca.”

For news on a movie that will absolutely never, ever be considered for the title, look no further than the recently green-lit “He-Man” live action film!  Attached to direct is Jon M. Chu, who brought us the stalwart, non-award winning Justin Bieber documentary and “Step Up 3D.” I think it’s safe to assume that the new He-Man will look a little something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itvJybdcYbI

 

In late July, it was reported that Aaron Sorkin fired his entire writing staff from his new hit HBO drama “The Newsroom.” Initially, this sounded like something the younger, cocaine-binging genius would pull; after all, last year it was reported he smashed his face into a mirror in order to inspire better dialogue from a character. But while on a press tour for the Television Critics Association, Sorkin made it perfectly clear that nobody was fired and that the entire situation was blown out of proportion. Ironically, shoddy journalism was the inspiration for “The Newsroom” in the first place. Cocaine induced or not, it’s good to have Sorkin back in television.

The flippidy-flop and you don’t stop news continues with Dan Aykroyd stating that once again, Peter Venkman (aka Bill Murray) has declined involvement with “Ghostbusters 3.” A crushing defeat for the film, and the third time Bill Murray has denied/confirmed/denied an opportunity to join the cast.  Somebody get Wes Anderson to direct and Murray will be first in line. No, seriously. Please?

In news-I-hate-but-must-know-anyway, try not to let this one smack you in the face: Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together. Yep. Go ahead and mull that one over. Consider the debates/discussions/deliberation you and your friends can have about domestic violence, role models, or how gratifying S&M really must be. For no other reason, at least now you can beat your friends to the punch with some offensive/inappropriate joke material.

Performers only date performers, apparently, as Katy Perry and John Mayer have been confirmed as “secretly dating.” As John Mayer’s celebrity hit-list grows, Katy Perry continues to search for her American replacement of Russell Brand. Depression comes in many, many forms.

In more “music” news, Lil Wayne says that he might be stepping out of the studio for awhile to focus on…skateboarding. Wayne acknowledged that he has been in everything and everywhere lately, and that the world deserves a “lil no Wayne.” Drake, you’ve taken plenty of pages out of Lil Wayne’s book.  It’s time to take another.

FX fans, rejoice!  “Louie” and “Brand X with Russell Brand” are renewed for new seasons, with “Wilfred” and “Anger Management” renewals “likely.”

In direct opposition, CBS fans, rejoice! First, Vince Vaughn is set to produce a pilot for “The Brady Bunch” reboot.  Second (and infinitely more important), the incredibly-long and detailed story of “How I Met Your Mother” will also “likely” continue into season 9, but that’s not all! An official soundtrack of songs from the show will be released as well.  Say what you want about traditional sitcoms and a dragged out story, I’m just stoked about jamming to more Neil Patrick Harris on my iPhone.

Speaking of Apple’s incorporation of all things media, say hello the new(ly rumored) Apple video game console.  The image has yet to be confirmed or denied by Apple, but with Sony recently posting a $312 million dollar loss, it looks like the video game world is about to get a shake-up.

 

 

So is the literary world, because Dennis Rodman is set to author a children’s book.  If you didn’t think future generations were doomed before, surely now all hope is lost.

Anxiously awaiting the next movie from “The Matrix” directors the Wachowski brothers? Well, the wait is over, but from now on you better call them the Wachowski “siblings.” That’s because Larry Wachowski has become the first transgender director in Hollywood, and will now go by Lana Wachowski. Think this will screw with their movies?  Check out the new trailer for “Cloud Atlas,” starring Tom Hanks, Halle Berry and Hugo Weaving.  Yeah, they’ve still got it.

 

 

New “James Bond” and “Paranormal Activity” trailers dropped this week as well. Paranormal looks scary as ever, but what is scarier than a blonde Javier Bardem hunting 007?  Have you seen “No Country for Old Men,” friendo? Move over, demon ghosts.

 

 

To close, I leave you with yet another dose of “Arrested Development” sweetness, tweeted by Jason Bateman. These updates are flowing in on a weekly basis, but let’s be honest, this is the best thing that could have ever happened in the history of cancelled television shows, and every update is just another reminder that God exists, and he is good. Except maybe “Firefly” getting six seasons and another movie. Browncoats forever!