Roundtable Discussion: Shark Week… ish
Watching Shark Week every year just makes me think that getting mauled by a great white just might be the most badass way to go out. Kinda morbid but, what would be the most badass way you would want to die?
Stu: If I end up really successful in life … assassination or some other type of nefarious conspiracy. If I end up just doing OK, then getting struck by lightning.
Nate: I’m going to have to go with some sort of situation that involves me dying in order to save all of Denver. Then they would erect a statue of me in the Capitol. And it would be awesome as hell.
Max: It’s not the most epic way to go out, but I’ve always thought it would be bad ass to have a epitaph that read, “Lost at Sea.”
Will: Just like Landfill in Beer Fest. Drown in a vat of beer.
Tristan: Will, I imagined you’d have that kind of a response … I also just picture bombers upon bombers piled up around you with you splayed out clutching one last bottle … this is getting kinda morbid… anyone else?
CVM: As someone who has actually been attacked by a sea creature (sting ray, 13 stitches, no big deal), I’m going to say not via animal attack. I’m going to say that I’m part of a ragtag group of space thieves (they thieve in space, they don’t steal space itself) who are working to expose the truth of the planet Miranda to the universe but are trapped by a bunch of space heathens who will rip them limb from limb. Just when it seems all is lost and the whole group will die, I sacrifice myself and go kick some heathen ass, thus saving the rest of the group. I have almost defeated them all, when suddenly I am betrayed by one of the team whom we all thought was the most trustworthy of everyone. I am stabbed literally in the back and collapse in a growing pool of my own blood. My killer starts to monologue about his whole plan to take down the Ragtags (as we call ourselves) and just as he is wrapping up, I stab him and many, many times because I’m really pissed of. I’ll say something witty and go about my business as if I was never hurt at all. We save the universe and I am honored by all. I die many years later peacefully in my sleep.
Mike R: Nate, Forget the Capitol, shoot for having a statue of yourself riding the blue bronco at the airport; red eyes and all.
As for myself? I’d like to live in the lap of luxury for my final days and then set out on an ocean voyage to a remote island. Here I would meet the locals and then throw myself into the volcano they worship.
Scott: Maybe driving off a cliff or something. Driving a borrowed Lamborghini or Maserati.
Just as long as I don’t drown or burn alive. Either sounds like a completely miserable way to go.
Tristan: Cliff diving death at Casa Bonita?
Scott: After the food poisoning, that’d be a welcome exit.
Adam: Ski diving naked. That would be such a bitch to clean up. And after they cleaned that up there would be an imprint of me in the ground. I’m pretty sure that’s how fossils work.
Cody: Dying tragically while saving my family from the remains of a destroyed sinking battleship.
Drew: Saving my son from the emperor’s force-lightning in the throne room of the Death Star … sorry, spoiler alert?