Humans of Stock Photos
By now you’ve heard of “Humans of New York,” the blog/social media content of photographer Brandon Stanton. Stanton takes photographs of random people he meets on the streets of New York City, coupled with captions quoting the people he meets.
They’re usually quite profound—for example:
Wow, am I right?
Stanton hasn’t just managed to give you ALL THE FEELS with these photos. He’s inspired a lot of amateur photographers to pick up the mantle and gather their own
pretentious derivative hackneyed exploitative profound images of common people across the world. You can see Humans of Los Angeles, Humans of India, Humans of Rome, and many other places.
But PorchDrinking.com is the only place to see the newest edition:
Humans of Stock Photos!
“I don’t know, dude. They were boarding the ferry, and I just couldn’t find my shoes. And I didn’t want to miss the ferry; it’s really pretty, especially at sunset. Come to think of it, I forgot my sunglasses, too. Sunglasses and shoes, man. I’m always losing my sunglasses and my shoes. Maybe that’s why she left me”
“Strawberry and vanilla swirl. I was the only grown-up at the ice cream truck; the rest were mostly kids. Strange, isn’t it, how the ephemeral bliss of ice cream brings us back to our younger selves. And when this one fell to the ground, it was like losing my innocence all over again. I don’t know… do you think the 5 second rule applies here?”
“You don’t even know, man. This party last night. You don’t even know.”
“So tell me about it!”
“I couldn’t, man. It’s just un-describable. You don’t even know”
“I think it’s ‘indescribable.'”
“Now you’re getting it, man. That’s what I’m saying.”
“I’m reading that article about 27 ways to please your man. I know it’s dumb and whatever. But I work 60 hours a week, so in my down time I’m not really looking to get too intellectual. I just need to unwind my brain and have a good time. Plus, last month they only listed 25 ways to please my man, and I want to find out what the new ones are.”
“This one is number 26.”
“Technically, my break ended 4 and a half minutes ago. They get sort of frustrated with me when I’m not back at my desk. But I don’t want to spend my late 20s as just a global optimization liason for a start-up, you know? Really, that’s not who I am. In my soul, I’m an artist. These doodles of wieners… they’re my art.”
“I saw one of these one time that had its own little ecosystem in it. A little plant with algae. All kinds of microbes. And even some tiny little shrimp things. Like sea monkeys – remember those? Yeah, so all of that was contained in this one glass ball that I could hold in my hand. It’s so delicate, right? And all of it, I realized, was a perfect microcosm for our entire universe – only, who’s holding the glass ball in the cosmic sense? And that’s when I realized that following Lord Xenu and the tenets of Scientology was the only way to go clear.”
“We met at this same merry-go-round on New Year’s Eve, 2006. I fell for him right away. He had great taste in music. And he knew how to make me laugh. He still does. Although… a lot has changed since then. He doesn’t ever use his Zune anymore. And I’ve finally gotten him to stop quoting Borat.”
“Style is important. But in this economy… I was raised pretty well-off. Nice house, nice car, never really wanted for much. Times changed, and now here I am on eBay. And even there, it can be tough. Someone is outbidding me on these two-tone Oxfords, and there’s only a couple hours before bidding closes.”
“Hiking alone can be even more adventurous than going with a group. I was out here one time and I saw a dead body. Eyes open and everything. And I didn’t even tell no one.”
“It’s important to set goals. That’s why I’m out here at this park every morning. Goal-setting. I told myself that by the end of this summer, I’ll be able to touch my toes. And sure, I could bend my knee and cheat. ‘You don’t need a full track suit for stretching, Cheryl,’ they told me. ‘You can’t keep coming in to work late,’ they say. But I know it will all be worth it when I finally get to find out what my toes feel like.”
“That son of a bitch is going to wait until the last second to bid on these Oxfords, isn’t he?”
All photos courtesy of the good people (actual humans) of Pexels.com, which offers free stock photos.