Ultimate 6er | Greatest Action Movie of All Time
One of my favorite conversations, and I think one of the most contested arguments throughout history, is that of the best action movie of all time. I have watched friendships end and new ones begin during the heated exchanges of Running Man versus Commando; Predator or Die Hard; Lion King or Aladdin?
I, your humble writer, wish to offer my argument in a more formal arena. Reader, I grant you the greatest action movie of all time.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
In a wild turn of events I will build my argument around the six best beers to enjoy during the movie. Although on most occasions six is not nearly enough to push me through this grand masterpiece of explosions, so take this as a guideline of types of beer to partake, not an allotment of amounts. Feel free to fuel up as needed during the film.
The film stars the former Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger as the titular robo-assassin. However, this time he’s been programed to protect, rather than kill the famed John Conner from rival robot played by Robert Patrick, otherwise known as the guy that took over for David Duchovny on The X Files. This movie is all that is wonderful about action movies. Here is my list.
Midas Touch | Dogfish Head
Terminator 2 is about time traveling cyborg assassins. I honestly don’t think there is a better reason to list this as the number one of all time. To roll with the time travel, I present the Midas Touch, a 2,700 year old recipe pulled from the tomb of King Midas. A sweet, dry beer with a very complicated flavor profile featuring a myriad of spices and additional flavorings. Turns out our ancients were big into dry hopping and post brew flavoring. What better beer to start out a movie about time travel than one that has actually time traveled.
Hoss | Great Divide
Hoss is one of my all time favorite beers. It also happens to me a clever moniker used by good buddie towards one another. I bet bikers use it a lot when talking about their hogs with their buddies “ Hey there Hoss, nice bike!”
Early on in the movie Arnold walks naked into a biker bar and demands a patrons clothing. He is the embodiment of the word Hoss, or as I would imagine it. Large, accented and naked. Fearlessly demanding another mans clothing and motorcycle in a crowded bar. A brief scuffle ensues with our time traveling pal emerging with all of the requested garments. A quality introduction.
As a beer, Hoss is like a juiced up version of Budweiser. It’s flavor profile is a tremendous example of what a lager should be. Bold and smooth. It doesn’t with hop or malt, no wildly distracting flavorings or gimmicks. This is a beer I could easily drink throughout the rest of the movie but for the sake of the article lets move on.
Raging Bitch | Flying Dog
Sarah Conner, mother of John Conner has been locked in a mental ward for a few years. Presumably due to her insistence and belief in time traveling cyborg assassins. Formerly after her, now returning to kill her son, the future leader of the human resistance against Skynet and our tyrannical robotic overlords.
Before being committed she spent years traveling with mercenaries and soldiers training her son for his eventual responsibility at the helm of our revolution. Because of her involvement with the Terminator from the first movie, she is being questioned by the police about an altercation at the local arcade between a bulletproof policemen and his near indestructible opponent. During the questioning she slyly spends her time planning her escape.
After picking the locks on her restraints she lays the smack down on one of the creepy guards and jams a needle full of cleaning solution into the neck of the head doctor, holding him as a hostage. One of the most fulfilling interactions in the movie is her first meeting with Arnold and her intense look of fear. This is the man that killed 19 cops the night of the first movie. Quote of the scene:
Raging Bitch is a Belgian style IPA. It has a very distinct almost skunk like smell. It is decieving though, the beer has a more tropical citrus flavor than the aroma suggests. It is very bitter but still well balanced and hoppy.
La Fin du Monde | Unibroue
The whole premise of this movie is the eventual first strike nuclear attack Skynet launches after it becomes self aware. The Movie is littered with flash backs and imagery of mushroom clouds and skeleton troopers firing machine guns at the futuristic defenders of mankind.
La Fin du Monde is another of my all time favorite beers. A Belgian Triple that ranks as one of the best in the world. It packs a wallop at 9% ABV but carries it in a very subtle manner. The smoothness is remarkable as well as the flavor. If you have never tried it. La Fin du Monde is a must have for any beer enthusiast.
Milk Stout Nitro | Left Hand Brewing Co.
Milk Stout Nitro is an amazing nitrogen gassed Stout from Left Hand. It is silky smooth and easily drinkable. The nitrogen helps keep the weight of the beer down and it doesn’t sit too heavy. I have had stouts with much more flavor, but very few as smooth. That is the best way for me to describe it.
I choose this beer to represent my favorite scene of all time. After raiding a laboratory to obtain and destroy the parts from the original terminator. The scene culminates with Jon and Sarah Conner being driven in a tiny beat up truck by Arnold. Chasing them in a nitrogen truck is T-1000. The chase leads to this.
Starting at 1:25 is my favorite sequence of all time.
The truck is rear ended by the semi, forcing Arnold to drop his last remaining grenade. Instead of boo-hooing about it, he does what any robot would do. Dropping the gun into the bed of the truck he grabs his handily placed automatic weapon and proceeds to walk across the pick up onto the hood of the truck. In what can only be described as the most badass pose possible he unloads his remaining ammo into the T-1000 and promptly grabs the wheel flipping the semi over.
Pure robotic genius. This is to me, the most defining scene of the movie. Arnold is at his most robotic mode as he selflessly tries to finally keep the T-1000 from catching his charges.
I have spent many a drunken night replaying that scene countless times. I know the whole thing by heart.
Iron City Beer | Pittsburg Brewing Co.
I wont lie. I am only putting this beer here because of the final scene. The aforementioned chase ended with both vehicles crashing into some sort of metal refinery. The T-1000 being frozen by his trailer of liquid nitrogen and the protagonists trying to hide throughout the factory. After a hard fought battle the T-1000 is finally defeated. In an act of true robotic calculation Arnold reveals that he is the last remaining chip, and a threat to the entire planet. His only recourse is to lower himself into the liquid metal he just tossed his opponent into.
This brings a tear to my eye every time.
Hopefully, I have presented you with an argument worthy of consideration. There are a lot of great action movies, from Avatar to Hot Fuzz. To me this is the greatest. Paired with some beer puts this movie over the top.