Pop Culture Week in Review
Prin Kate is Pregs
I can’t even be bothered to write whole words about this as it really isn’t that interesting. The married couple who have an obligation to an entire country to maintain the family line have conceived a child! Who would have thought.
Tobey Maguire to Andrew Garfield? Upgrade. Kirsten Dunst to Emma Stone (I realize they aren’t playing the same characters, so don’t jump all over me)? Upgrade. James Franco to Dane DeHaan? Ummm, indifference? My favorite part about this is how news outlets (and I use that term loosely) are trying to tell you how you know him. The answer is: you don’t. But E! Online makes a pretty nice stab: “You know the sandy-haired cutie from the quirky superhero flick Chronicle, as well as Lawless, In Treatment (he was season-three Wednesday patient Jesse, so you know he can brood), and most recently, Lincoln.”
I thought, “Huh. I just saw Lincoln. I don’t recall any ‘sandy-haired cuties’ in that film.’ According to imdb.com, DeHaan plays “Second White Soldier.” I mean, yes he was in the film probably but is that really what you’re going to cite as a recognizable role?
Ted Goes West
Seth MacFarlane and writing partners Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild (which both sound like made up people) have written a western film. For those unfamiliar, a “Western” is a genre of film that takes place in the wild western United States of America before there were things like technology. Since the advent of not hating Native Americans, the genre has been largely dead. But with death comes new life- in this case, a parody film in the vein of Blazing Saddles (which was made in 1974 when vague, and at times blatant, racism was still acceptable for all races- not just Native Americans). MacFarlane is planning to direct and star in the film.
The biggest surprise to me was that people are still paying him to be in things. Forbes magazine, who compiles the yearly list of most overpaid actors, looks at an actor’s last three films from the past three years that opened on more than 2,000 screens. Forbes cites four films as the cause of Eddie’s big win- Tower Heist, Imagine That, Meet Dave and A Thousand Words.
Second-in-command of the SS Box Office Bomb is Katherine Heigl, who never quite had the ‘girl next door’ appeal necessary to pull off ridiculous jobs like ‘bounty hunter’ or ‘married to Asthon Kutcher.’ Unfortunately, this revelation (kind of) comes too late as she has three films slated for 2013. I welcome any of you to describe the plot of the Heigl-starring films titled The Big Wedding, The Nut Job and Face Blind. I look forward to reading your contributions in the comments section below.
Disney’s Return to Netflix
Apparently, Disney films have been missing from Netflix for several months. But thanks for a new deal, we can expect the films to make their way back to the internet. What does this mean? Star Wars. Yeah, didn’t see that coming did you? You just thought it was going to be animated princesses. Disney now owns LucasFilm and thereby all the Star Wars films. Now that Netflix has an exclusive deal with Disney, they will have access to stream those films online. And, of course, by ‘now,’ I mean 2016 when the deal takes effect. Netflix will be receiving older Disney titles like Dumbo and Pocahontas immediately. And they really mean immediately- I just checked. The Fox and the Hound, The Rescuers Down Under, The Muppet Movie, The Great Mouse Detective, The Aristocats, and roughly 1000 Air Bud films are all available for streaming right now. This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism you can expect from the good folks at porchdrinking.com. I would like to take the time to apologize to my roommates (who probably won’t read this) for the amount of times I will watch and sing along to Pocahontas.
The Roots, Jimmy Fallon and Mariah Carey sing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You.’