Golden Globes Live Blog
Hey there folks! Join us tonight as we live blog the Golden Globes! We’ll be joined by our PorchDrinking Pop Culture team who will bring the hilarity and snark! Blog starts at 8 Eastern on THIS thread. Feel free to add your comments in the comments section.
Drew: A couple hours later, and WE’RE BACK! I had so many snide things to say! Jodie Foster gave a crazy speech! Taylor Swift, Tommy Lee Jones, and Mel Gibson all had amazing reaction faces! Lena Dunham won awards and Fey/Poehler made jokes about it “Yeah, we’re really glad we could help you through middle school.” The amazing fans of PorchDrinking.com crashed the site with their love!
Drew: Jennifer Lawrence callin’ out Meryl Streep might be the ballsiest acceptance speech yet.
Nik: I am just not a Jennifer Lawrence. Meh.
Jessica: Tommy Lee Jones is unmoved.
CVM: I’m CRYING I’m laughing so hard. Had to put my computer aside so I wouldn’t break it.
Nik: Hahahaha this is so fantastic. Two of the funniest people to ever grace SNL doing what they do best!
Tristan: Will Ferrell smiling makes me pee a little.
CVM: I love everything that’s going on in or around this awards show.
Nik: Still sad Tommy Lee Jones didn’t win Best Supporting, he was so phenomenal in Lincoln.
Jessica: Is that an Anchorman moustache that I see?
Tristan: detroller’s comment: Is Kevin Costner dying?
Drew: I think Kevin Costner and Bill Clinton were smoking the same stuff backstage.
CVM: Danielle on seeing Bill: “Can I please see Mel Gibson’s reaction?”
Jessica: Yeah Lena Dunham–be impressed. President Clinton is awesome.
Nik: Well Drew, we have our answer: BILL FREAKING CLINTON.
Drew: Clinton goes wherever there’s an open bar and Hillary isn’t.
Tristan: Holy Shit! It’s Bill Clinton! I thought election season was over…
CVM: What is he even talking about? My friend Erin: “I think we’re watching a stroke happen.”
Drew: You just KNOW Kevin Costner rehearsed this (awful) monologue.
CVM: So can we actually make ‘Dog Prison’ happen? I would see it at least 4 times in theaters.
Jessica: I can only hope that this is the beginning of a Kevin Costner comeback.
Tristan: Love the audience gimmick!
Drew: Okay everyone. Give us your best guesses. What have Tina and Amy been doing for the last 45 minutes? Taking shots backstage? Sneaking out to grab a taco from the taco trunk around the corner?
Nik: I think we can all agree, this globes needs more Tina/Amy action.
Drew: 1 – CVM I totally agree. That T-Swift sneer was classic. 2 – anyone else SUPER sick of that awful Sofia Vergara Pepsi commercial? I’d never seen it before tonight but I’ve watched it about 45 times now.
CVM: So time for more Tina and Amy, yeah?
CVM: Taylor Swift’s face was all, “uh huh. yeah. shutupihateyou.”
Tristan: Ok LOVE the Civil Wars but Adele KILLED it with Skyfall… how can a woman sing so beautifully but sound so awful when talking?
Jessica: Oh Tristan, I know that Skyfall win makes you happy. Taylor Swift is so pissed that she doesn’t get to pull out her surprised face at another awards show.
Nik: Wish Adele was wearing the same dress (seriously, is it a dress?) J. Lo is… 🙁
CVM: when the skyFALLLLLLLLLLLL. then the skyFALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLS. then the skyFALLLLLLLLLLLLLS
Drew: I love how Adele’s accent makes her say “Fank You”
Drew: Pretty sure the Nielsen numbers dip during the acceptance speeches from composers.
Tristan: We’re not just dropping the topic of her full body patch are we?
Jessica: Ang Lee waves like a small excited child.
Drew: As someone who works in a TV control room, I can only imagine the scene inside the Golden Globes command center. My current hypothesis is that the teleprompter operator helped himself to the open bar.
CVM: J.Lo really loves a good strategically placed pattern and/or flower in her dress selections
Jessica: What just happened? Who is that guy that brought out the award?
Nik: Good for Life of Pi, it’s a really neat movie.
Tristan: Jennifer Lopez dress comments and GO!
Nik: Is that a dress? That’s not a dress…is that a dress?!
Nik: Tristan, exactly! And the first 10 minutes of the first episode was the greatest thing in television/politics all year. At least they got a little recognition at the globes (but not the emmys).
CVM: I’m sorry- THAT’S who Ben Affleck was playing???
Jessica: Alright, where is Tina? I need some [intentionally] funny bits.
Tristan: Nerdy embarrassing Scifi shows I wish that still existed: V, Flash Forward, Heroes, Terra Nova
Nik: Too many commercials, must switch to 60 minutes. PS- WHY DON’T WE LIVE BLOG 60 MINUTES?!?!
Tristan: Nik, I’m a total geek for the Newsroom, Jeff Daniels deserves a Golden Globe for no longer making me only think of him in Dumb and Dumber
CVM: Conversation in my living room: Danielle: “That’s the lady from V.” Me: “Um correct yourself. She is from Firefly.”
Nik: No Game of Thrones love either? Swear I’m not plugging HBO, but that at least deserved a nomination!
Jessica: I love Salma Hayek’s attempt, “Something about the best …” Ahaha–the control has already had too much booze.
CVM: Best Exotic Marigold Hotel makes me terrified to be an old lady. I could be a shrew, a randy old lady, super sad or racist. Those are my options.
Jessica: I’m sorry but Damien Lewis’s British accent always strikes me as fake. Maybe it’s just because he seems to play a lot of Americans, but still.
Drew: Damian Lewis truly is a sleeper agent. All this time, Homeland’s viewers had NO IDEA that Brody was BRITISH.
Nik: Does anyone else like The Newsroom? I loved it, but it doesn’t seem to be getting much critic love.
CVM: Damien Lewis ftw
Nik: I’m looking for an exotic marigold hotel. Pray tell, which is the best? Travelosity isn’t helping 🙁
Tristan: When did Lucille Austero become the president of the HFPA?
Jessica: The president of HFPA seems a little bit like a martian. How old was she?
Drew: HFPA president = Sharon Osbourne + Liza Minnelli.
CVM: My friend Danielle of the HFPA president: “Are we sure that’s not Liza Minelli?”
Drew: Feels sort of anti-climactic to pick a best picture since they break up the drama and musical/comedy films.
Nik: I barely liked Les Mis walking out of the theater, but the more I think about it, the more amazing it was. Can’t stop singing the songs, liberating my shampoo and soap from the monarchy of the shower!
CVM: CZJ, why did you feel it was necessary to sing?
Tristan: CZJ is channeling Bob Costas levels of smug
Drew: What is that music they play when speeches start to go long? Is there a CD compilation somewhere of “Stop F***ing Talking” music?
Jessica: Oh Catherine, that singing. Yikes.
Nik: The music interruption never gets less awkward. Keep it coming!
Drew: Is it just me or does it feel like “Game Change” was ages ago?
CVM: Seriously dying. Amy is just the best thing evvvvvvver.
Jessica: Amy Poehler is actually the greatest person ever.
What just happened?!
Tristan: Jimmy Trotier in the comment section says: Sam Fox looks incredibly similar to Michael J. Fox. Not that I’m surprised, but still.
Drew: Nothing scares me more than a creative-type getting on stage and starting with “I’m glad we’re encouraged to talk about politics more.”
Nik: Tina Fey is livid she isn’t up on that stage as the actress of Sarah Palin right now.
CVM: I only support Game Change because Jonathan from Buffy wrote it…
Tristan: Fox’s kid looks dead on! I would kill for a new Back to the Future
Drew: First Poehler, now Longoria. Apparently it’s now IN for ladies to just not wear the part of shirts that would cover cleavage.
Tristan: Just a reminder! For those who are joining us feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section and we’ll feature them on the live blog!
Drew: Just a matter of proceedings, but isn’t it weird that the first two awards were for supporting actor in film and then supporting actress in TV?
CVM: Commercial = wine refill.
CVM: YAY MAGS! Equally thankful it wasn’t Hayden Paniteraiwjag
Jessica: I would kill to see a snarky Maggie Smith acceptance speech.
Tristan: Save the cheerleader save the world
CVM: Oh my- next wide shot they do, see if you can catch Mel Gibson. Mouth WIDE OPEN. Catching flies
Tristan: Waltz is phenomenal… but why do those tropheys look like something out of little league?
Drew: He was darn good.
Jessica: No surprises there–congrats to Waltz
Tristan: I thought Tommy Lee Jones was being nominated for MIB III?!?
Jessica: Is this boob cut out a new fashion trend that I am unaware of?
CVM: Best Supporting actor….
Tristan: Meryl Streept steals it in the flu!
Jessica: And the Jonah Hill weight roller caoster continues …
CVM: Drew- the joke was about how Kathryn Bigelow knows all about torture because she spend 3 years married to James Cameron.
Drew: Take note, Mr. Gervais, this is how you be funny and edgy without coming across as an asshole.
Tristan: Yessss already an SNL reference
Tristan: Already killing it with HFPA jokes
Drew: Wait I walked out of the room… What was that joke that made everyone gasp? Something about James Cameron?
CVM: THIS IS ALREADY THE BEST SHOW EVER.
CVM: “Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub elbows with the rat faced people of television.”
Tristan: Love that Bill Murray “photo bombs” life
Jessica: I can only look at Amy’s cleavage.
CVM: BILL MURRAY
Drew: I love the control room audio feed of someone counting into the show. “20 seconds to main show!” translates to “Shut the f*** up, Matt Lauer!”
Tristan: And HERE WE GO!
CVM: Here we goooooooo
Tristan: Drew, I’m glad you covered the Roker joke that would have been a huge miss.
Drew: My craziest plausible scenario would be a Quentin Tarantino acceptance speech in which he tries to dispell the Django N-Word controversy.
What are your guesses for the weirdest, yet still could within reason happen, scenarios for tonight’s show?
Drew: Lauer says dinner will be served shortly. Look forward to shots of the crowd and James Gandolfini asking the rest of his table “Hey, you gonna finish that?”
CVM: I don’t know how many times my fellow Globes watchers and I have asked, “Why is so and so there?”
CVM: Did she really need to say Sofia Vergara’s full name every time?
Drew: It’s just too easy to make a joke about Sofia Vergara’s “Golden Globes.” Too easy.
Drew: True, CVM. Awkward when they’re interviewing a middling cable star and you hear the crowd explode with cheers when an A-lister enters the background.
CVM: Best part of the red carpet really is what’s going on behind the interviews. Also, Helen Mirren has girded her loins.
Drew: I know Roker, Lauer, etc. are the ones asking the celebrities questions, but how has NO ONE asked Al Roker yet whether he’s wearing a diaper to prevent accidental sharting?
CVM: Ok good. I’m watching red carpet too, mostly because I find the uncomfortable ‘interviews’ with the stupid questions super hilarious. Like when Jon Hamm was asked ‘What can we expect for Jon Draper in the next season?’
Drew: Most awkward segue of the night so far goes to Al Roker talking to Adele about her album and then saying “Speaking of releases… you just had a baby!”
Drew: I hate myself for commenting on what people are wearing, but Amy Poehler showed up wearing a tuxedo jacket with no shirt underneath. So much cleavage! Leslie Knope would never be okay with so much boobage.
Drew: Jennifer Lawrence says she feels under the weather with the flu… She must have a fever because that girl is HOT!