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Faking Adulthood | Filling Your Fridge

empty fridge

A prime example of the many differences between adults and children is that adults know how to feed themselves. Do you, man/lady-child?

Last time in this series I wrote about fiscal responsibility. One (less boring) way that adults take care of themselves financially is by eating out less, and cooking more. This does not require you to know a ton about cooking, but it does require some grocery shopping to be able to blunder your way through it. Added bonus: if a functioning adult-type person looks in your fridge, they’ll see some recognizable staples, not ketchup, a couple take-out boxes, and beer. Although, to be clear, beer is definitely a staple.

A few tips on filling your fridge (and pantry) for the “faux-dult.”

Keep a back-up 6 pack in your fridge always.

You never know when your friends will need to a place to hang and nominate you as the host. So find something relatively cheap that you’re always in the mood for just in case. Maybe one of these beers?

Buy produce weekly.

This means your bi-weekly shopping trip will become an every week requirement, but it also means shorter shopping trips and less funk in your fridge. Buy only enough perishables to feed you for one week (items like bread with a longer shelf life can be bought whenever you’re out), and go through your fridge on trash night. If anything looks or smells weird, pitch it. It will only get weirder and potentially grow tentacles in the next week. For starters try: apples, onions, carrots, bananas and broccoli. They’re pretty easy to tell when they’re ripe at the store, keep for a while, and have some pretty clear signals that they’re ready to go if you don’t eat them in time.

Buy vegetables.

I am guilty of not doing this as much as I should, but I’m going to say you should do it anyways. Even if you hate them, just find one or two that you can stomach, and find as many ways to eat them as possible. Sweet potatoes are very versatile and tasty if you hate greens.


Eggs are a versatile fix when you need a source of protein, they’re called for in just about every mix you could buy, breakfast for dinner is awesome, and an omelet will surely impress your lady-friend in the morning. In short, they’re incredible.

Have supplies for one or two meals that you can make when you’re running low on everything else.

This might be sandwich supplies (bread, meat, cheese, veggies, condiments of choice), salad, noodles, whatever. That way, even if you do slack on buying produce, you won’t have to run out for food because you don’t have anything to eat at home. Personally, I like to keep a box of pasta, garlic, butter, and mozzarella on hand at all times.

Find a couple not-terrible-for-you snacks and add them to your repertoire.

Hummus, cottage cheese, yogurt, bite-sized veggies, granola clusters, these are all examples of good things to munch on when you’re a little hungry but don’t have time-—or want to spend the time— on prep. I’m not saying stop buying chips. I’m just saying switch it up a little sometimes.

Do not be the person who doesn’t have coffee in the morning.

If a friend crashes at your place, or gasp!, you’re lucky enough to have someone of your preferred gender stay over, show them that you are not a total heathen by brewing a fresh pot of coffee the next morning. If you’re really ambitious, you could also offer cream and sugar to your guest. Not only is it pleasant to wake up to the scent of coffee wafting through the house, it makes your guest feel cared for and special. They then draw the conclusion that if you are capable of taking care of them, you can probably also take care of yourself. This is either true, or you’ve succeeded with a great bluff.

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