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2016 Election Night Drinking Game

2016 Election Night Drinking Game

Well folks it’s finally here: National Drink Until This Mess is Over Day! Oh you thought I was referring to the election? Well, that too. After what seems like two straight years of political ads, debates, annoying mailers and robot calls we have finally reached the end of the proverbial tunnel. But to emerge through this last, most treacherous stretch, you’re going to need a good sense of humor and an even greater supply of alcohol. To help ease this traverse we bring you the 2016 Election Night Drinking Game. Please drink responsibly.

2016 Election Night Drinking Game – Take a Drink When…

  • Someone shows up to your results watch party without an I Voted Sticker.
  • Someone in your group asks “Who is even running this year?”
  • News outlets show the Senatorial race on a map.
  • They show more than 4 pundits sitting at a table together. (Also, tack on one more drink for every extra pundit sitting at that table.)
  • Anytime you hear “This historic election,”  or “Most important election of our lifetime.”
  • Anytime a completely random totally unrelated statistic is referenced.

hanging-chad

It’s not too late to ask these candidates the questions that REALLY matter.

  • A political ad is shown with the politician shaking hands with a minority.
  • A political ad is shown and the politician is holding a child.
  • Take two drinks if the child is clearly not their own.
  • The phrase “Too close to call” is uttered.
  • Any time Putin is referenced take a shot of vodka
  • Every time a state is declared in favor of your candidate, then name that state capital… it’ll get much more amusing around 10pm, we promise.
2016 Election Night Drinking Game
ph: E. M. Pio Roda / CNN
  • Smart boards are being gratuitously used to illustrate a point for no reason.
  • Any time there’s a reference to Benghazi, the Clinton Foundation, or Hillary being crooked.
  • Any time you hear the phrase “Nasty Woman”, then join in a group twerk.
  • Take a bathroom break every time “WikiLeaks” is referenced.

hillary-clinton-phone

  • Finish your drink and yell “ALL CLEAR” when the FBI e-mail investigation is referenced.
  • Anytime the news outlets reference the possibility of Hillary as the “First Woman President”, raise a glass to progress and take a drink!
  • Anytime Hillary is shown cheering on the Cubs or wearing Cubs gear shout “Go Cubs Go” and drink an Old Style

  • Anytime Trump hyperbolizes give a mini speech to your friends about how you are the greatest friend in the group and how everyone else is a loser.
  • Anytime the quote “They go low, we go high” is referenced, half of your friends should squat down real low and take a drink while the other half jump up high and take a drink
  • Anytime Trump says Jai-na aka China drink a Tsingtao

  • Anytime Trump’s “Wall” is referenced, make everyone lineup in a human wall and take a shot together.
  • Take a drink anytime Hillary’s wardrobe is being mocked then donate an article of clothing to Goodwill.
  • Take a long hard drink any time any form of Trump’s sexual assault allegations, his mocking of people with disabilities, his claims of knowing more than U.S. military generals, his castigation of Muslims, his racist comments against Hispanics and African Americans, his failed business deals, not paying his employees, his evasion of paying taxes, his bankruptcy, his plans to ban abortion, his plans to ban same sex marriage… OK, you’re going to need a lot of alcohol.

  • Read the name on every beer label in the room if there happens to be a Trump Can’t Read reference
  • Chug a beer once a winner is declared because IT’S FINALLY OVER!
  • And if Trump refuses to concede should he loose the election, you might want to just go ahead and finish that bottle of bourbon because it’s gonna get real ugly.
  • Pour one out, then dance a little anytime the Janet Reno Dance Party is mentioned

janet-reno-dance-party

 


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Comments

  1. This was a lame ass article. Your bias is shown here. Another brain dead asshole that has a job because of computers. Way to go, you’ve literally ruined any fun that could be had tonight. And whoever thought you are funny and/ or clever enough to write for them, slap the hell out of them for giving you a job.

  2. Oh Donald… I didnt realize you were my mother! You always were my harshest critic.

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