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Election 2016: The Issues We Care About

Election 2016: The Issues We Care About

This voter is very disappointed. The 2016 Presidential election has been all about scandals and “temperament” and personalities of the candidates. There’s been a dearth of serious discussion on serious issues. It wasn’t until the third debate that a candidate brought up climate change. Women’s health has been largely ignored. And we haven’t heard enough about what Trump or Clinton will do to keep social security from crumbling.

That’s just the beginning. There are TONS of issues on which we still want to hear from the candidates. The PorchDrinking team shares my opinion. We collected a list of some of the issues that are important to us. Here are questions we still want our candidates to answer:

 

DEAR CANDIDATES:

  • What is the U.S. going to do to find out where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
  • Do you have a litmus test for determining whether you pick the left Twix or the right Twix?
  • Can you be trusted with the classified information you get in your daily briefings? Do those briefings include any information about what’s going to happen in Episode VIII?

  • Many jobs have been lost. As President, what will you do to restore predictability? To help the milkman, the paperboy… evening TV? There are problems everywhere you look!
  • If you had to pick a superpower, would you prefer the power to fly, or invisibility?
  • Which side will you lead the U.S. to take in the ongoing battle between Godzilla and King Kong?

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  • Will you work with Congress to finally recognize Festivus as a national holiday?
  • How will you bring peace to the war between Drake and Meek Mill?
  • Do you believe it is appropriate to issue an Executive Order to ban those 1-877-Kars4Kids commercials from the airwaves?

 

  • Which Hogwarts house are you?
  • Will you form an immigration task force to deport Justin Bieber?
  • If you had to kiss one foreign leader, who would it be?
  • Who let the dogs out, and will you hold them accountable for letting the dogs out?
  • Why should the American public believe that it’s not butter?
  • What color was The Dress?
  • Tupac or Biggie?
  • Can you maybe get the big brewers to stop buying up our favorite craft brewers? Please?

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