Ultimate 6er | What to Drink While Filing Your Taxes
A new year brings hope for prosperity and change. It is also the season of the 1040, 1099, W-2, and countless other federal tax forms. While we are all familiar with the painful process of filling out tax papers, it may surprise you to know the nefarious reason we pay federal income tax.
It all goes back to those pesky Prohibitionists of the early 1900’s. The U.S. Government started taxing beer and whiskey sales to help fund the Civil War, and when the war was over, the taxes remained. These alcohol taxes accounted for 30 to 40 percent of the government’s invoice, so the Prohibitionists pushed for an income tax that would lessen the government’s reliance on alcohol sales. In 1913, the 16th Amendment was passed and granted Congress the power to levy an income tax.
So this year, when you are going through receipts, itemizing your deductions, and trying to claim your cat as a dependent, give our not-too-distant ancestors the middle finger by enjoying a beer. The government can still tax our income, but they can’t take away our beer.
Here are some drinking suggestions to get you through the tax process.
Filing Your Taxes
21st Amendment | Brew Free or Die IPA
Taxes are a necessary evil that require time and patience, so grab a six-pack (or case) of 21st Amendment’s Brew Free or Die IPA. Twenty-one is greater than 16, which clearly makes the 21st Amendment the superior amendment, plus this beer will help keep you refreshed and focused.
You Are Getting a Refund
Against the Grain | 35K
Getting a refund makes you feel like you won the lottery, even if the money you are getting back was yours to begin with. A victory, no matter how small, is still a victory and it should be celebrated as such. You are a Tax Baller — a Revenue Gangster — and 35K from Against the Grain is the perfect beer to celebrate your new found wealth.
You’re Not Getting a Refund, but You Don’t Owe
Bell’s Brewery | Two Hearted IPA
You managed to achieve the holy grail of taxes. All year you paid your dues without paying too much. It took hours to fill out all the paperwork, but when it was all over, absolutely nothing changed. Two Hearted by Bell’s Brewing is perfectly balanced IPA that will complement your achievement.
You Have to Pay Taxes
Westbrook | Gose
Something went terribly wrong. After hours of checking your math and consulting with your accountant, you owe the government money. My mom always told me that when life gives you lemons, you drink a Westbrook Gose. It’s the only thing strong enough to wash that taste out of your mouth. It even has a slight salty finish to hide the taste of your tears.
Screw You, I’m Moving to Singapore
Guinness | Foreign Extra Stout
This won’t apply to many people, but let’s say a company you co-founded is going public and you are expected to make $4 billion almost overnight. What are you going to do with this tax burden? One option is to denounce your citizenship, move to Singapore and enjoy a Guinness Foreign Stout in your new home land. Make sure you bring enough to share with your fellow expatriates, like Eduardo Saverin.
You’re Getting Audited
Wild Turkey | Bourbon
Lots of people get audited by the IRS each year, and most reviews are uneventful. There are a few individuals that get caught trying to pull a fast one on Uncle Sam. Situations like this call for a handle of Wild Turkey bourbon. If you are going to get bent over a barrel, you better make it a bourbon barrel.
Written by photographer/contributor Chris Powell. You can see more from Chris on Twitter @pintsizedadvntr and Instagram @pintsizedadventures.