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Beer Debate | The Great Groundhog Day Results Showdown

Groundhog Day
PorchDrinking.com Staff

When Punxsutawney Phil emerges from his slumber, the fate of the winter is in his furry little paws. Will spring come early, or will winter be sticking around for six extra weeks? This change in season doesn’t only affect the weather but also the beers that we’ll be drinking. Northeast Region Editor Dan Bortz and writer Constance Del Rio are about to engage in a verbal Battle Royale about whether or not they’d like the groundhog to see his shadow. This is the Great Groundhog Day Showdown!

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Let us know in the comments!

Dan Bortz:

Let me make one thing perfectly clear. If that fat rodent sees his shadow, I will have a less-than-civilized reaction. “Six more weeks of winter” is six more weeks of my own personal hell. With my work schedule, I barely see sunlight so as it is. In winter, I never see it. I am a walking, talking case of Seasonal Affective Disorder with a little Shift Work Disorder thrown in for fun. In winter, I’m surrounded by all these dark, complex, slow-sipping beers. They make you really think about what your drinking, but the last place I want to be at this time of year is inside my own unbalanced head.

Constance Del Rio:

What you call Hell, I call Nirvana! I’m hoping Phil sees his shadow, which should be easy with all that winter weight he put on. Long live the sweet dark rivers of #StoutSeason – from barrel-aged glory that spends years perfecting its sweet nectar, to spiced crushable ales.

Bortz:

There’s nothing that gets my goat quite like an unnecessarily spiced beer. Who decided that stouts needed cinnamon anyway? Same goes for winter warmers! Most of those weren’t traditionally spiced either. If I want to enjoy cinnamon, nutmeg or clove, it will be in pie-form like a civilized human being. I’ll take four extra hours of Vitamin D production over a spiced beer any day.

Del Rio:

Spiced beer is not basic! The flavors can be complex, subtle or even a over the top, but in a good way. I’d much rather cozy up to the fire with my pup with a spiced porter then sweat through my blouse by just walking to my car. Give me pie in all forms, for I do not discriminate!

Bortz:

You automatically assume that I want it to be summer, which is not the case. The shoulder seasons are where it’s at! You get to enjoy a beer on a patio or in a beer garden, and you neither freeze your ass off nor sweat like a pig. Spring and fall also allow for the widest variety of beers! Not only do you get some seasonal overlap from the adjoining seasons, but spring brings maibocks, and fall fills our 1-liter Maßkrug with Märzen. All without weather extremes it’s a great… no, THE GREATEST time to be alive. Screw winter weather, and a hearty “meh” to 80% of its seasonal brews. I get it. You figured out that putting your mediocre base stout into barrels gives it a little complexity. Good for you!

Del Rio:

Whoo! There are a lot of stouts that resist the barrel and still come out packing a boozy punch. You are also forgetting that the colder months brings us pine spiked beers, dark ales brewed with juniper and some even are hopped-up, which gives warmer weather beer lovers something to smile about during a storm. I don’t know about greatest though, winter contains Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve/Day!! Give me more winter so I can enjoy all the ales barrel aged with fruit or a creamy stout. Long Live Stout Season!

Bortz:

Stout Season has its place, but it should also know when its time is up. Social media had me sick of Stout Season on Black Friday, when everyone needed to post their BCBS hauls for 48 solid hours. Don’t even get me started with my “I don’t give a shit about your whalez” rant…

Del Rio:

There are many sought-after IPAs too, least we forget the far-too-large crowds of beer geeks that call in sick for Pliny the Younger day! Summer beer has its place too and should know it. I’m game to push out the warm weather months into March, then I’ll think about aging my BBA beers and restock the fridge with refreshing brews. Until then, fill my glass with the blackest of stouts and let me live!

Via Giphy

Bortz:

You’ll never change my mind, but I invite you to wallow in cold, soul-numbing blackness for a few more days. After that, the great Weather Rodent will release me from the season of my discontent and allow me to enjoy beer the way God (or whatever) intended: on the porch.

How do you think Groundhog Day is going to go down? Let us know in the comments!

Featured Image Credit: Groundhog.org


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