Ode to the Shower Beer
It’s a hot summer Saturday evening and you just got home from that co-ed softball tournament that you’re way too into. You’re covered in dried sweat and dirt from your unnecessary slide into second base, and you need to clean up.
You sit in traffic for an hour and a half after a long day at work where you endured constant yelling from both your clients and your boss. The worst part of all? It’s only Tuesday.
You’ve just finished moving into the house that’s made you a first time home owner. Your hands are blistered and exhausted from hauling sharp-edged furniture and slippery boxes all day. To go to sleep victoriously in your new bedroom right away would be nice, but it’s not what you need.
The solution to all these scenarios and more? Shower beer.
If you’ve never tried it before, do yourself a favor. No matter where and when you find yourself taking your next shower, grab a beer and give it a go. You deserve it. If your emotional, spiritual, or existential condition doesn’t improve tenfold when your experience is over, then the next round is on me. The concept really might seem simple at first — “So, I just drink a beer while I take a shower?” Well, kind of, but not really. The shower beer has great powers and has the potential for much more than that. Any beer that’s merely three stars on Untappd will taste like a four and a half star beer. It will take the worst of days and make them bearable. In celebratory moments, it only further boosts your levels of joy, and it takes refreshment to a new level when you’re exhausted from a hard day’s work in the heat.
Now, you may have some concerns like “Won’t my beer get hot?” or “I don’t have a shelf in my shower and I’m not about drinking watered-down, soapy beer” Fear not! For some American hero invented this:
There, you no longer have an excuse.
Additional Pro Tips
- Aluminum, not glass. Safety first.
- Think summer beers — It’s hot in there and a stout won’t do. Instead, try a Saison, Belgian Wit, Gose, Farmhouse, or Pale Ale.
- Been an extra long day? More than one shower beer is fine but be careful, sailor. Only if you’re able — the deck gets slippery when you don’t quite have your sea legs… Again, safety first.
- If and when you undoubtedly become addicted to the shower beer, you might consider allocating your water usage elsewhere so as to prevent spikes in your water bill. Also, it’s important conserve the wonderful resource that is, in fact, the foundation or your fizzy elixir of choice.
There you have it. If you have insight of your own, please share below. Some might say it’s your civic duty.