The Weekly Buzz
I’m not going to lie to you. You don’t deserve that. My week has been a scheduling hellscape, the likes of which has never been seen before. Dear readers, you should feel honored that I prioritized your social media addiction above my own health and well being. This is The Weekly Buzz. You’re welcome.
Another week has come and gone, and my life is just as crazy as ever. We are still unpacking everything in our new house, and I’ve been working a ton of overtime. At least I have beer to keep me sane. Delicious, comforting beer… Anyhoo… Here’s some stuff I found on Twitter and Instagram. This is The Weekly Buzz.
Another GABF has come and gone, and I spent the entire weekend working overtime and organizing my new house. I barely even drank. It was such a waste of my time and energy. On the bright side, I’m only seven days away from having a day off (followed by six more days of work). Until then, I’ll have to live vicariously through “Beer Twitter.” Good thing that never gets toxic! Anyhoo… here’s The Weekly Buzz!
Have you ever had to move? It’s pretty brutal. I’m to the point where I can’t even bribe people with pizza and beer anymore. No one will help. Well, the joke’s on them. There’s more beer for me, and all horrible chores are better when you’re drunk. So, raise a beer in one hand, and pivot that couch around the corner with the other. This is The Weekly Buzz.
It is so hot in my house that I want to purchase a walk-in freezer to live inside. The worst part of this summer hasn’t even been the heat. The rain has been far more oppressive in the Northeast. In the last two weeks, I have pumped more water out of my basement than I did in the two years prior. It’s insanity. Good thing Climate Change is a hoax, or we’d really be screwed! Anyhoo… I found some beer stuff on social media, so I copied and pasted it for you to read. Welcome to The Weekly Buzz.
My darling Buzzophiles, nary five days ago, I was forced to cast my gaze upon an unsightly pallet of gourd-flavored adult beverage. The fact that it was 95 degrees outside made me wonder if pumpkins were even in season yet. They are not. Last night, however, my faith in the beer-swilling gods was rekindled into a blazing fire as I stepped into a beautifully curated boutique bottle shop. There wasn’t a single “seasonal creep” beer in sight. That shop was my own personal nirvana, and almost completely negates the fact that I had to search Twitter for this edition of The Weekly Buzz.
Since we’re all gathered here around the Weekly Buzz hearth, allow Grandpappy Dan to spin a yarn about the good old days. A long time ago, fall seasonal beers — like pumpkin ales — used to be released in the fall, so that their warm spiciness and pumpkin sweetness could be enjoyed on cool autumn nights. Märzens (or Oktoberfests) would be released in September to coincide with Munich’s historic Oktoberfest festival, which runs from late September until early October. Much like the way certain big box chains stock bathing suits in February, these beers are releasing earlier and earlier. Does anyone really want to drink a Pumpkin Ale in July or August? I don’t believe that they do. Seasonality is a beautiful thing, but it is being lost as its lines are being blurred. If you don’t buy fall seasonals in August, they’ll stop releasing them in August.
Let’s make seasonal beers great again!
I’ve just arrived at the point where I have decided to neglect my real, bills-paying job in order to do a little work for my Internet beer-writing gig. Typing this intro on my phone is a real time-saver! I don’t know why I never thought of this before. The sign on the door that reads “No Personal Cell Phones in Work Area” doesn’t bother me either. Everyone here knows that The Weekly Buzz is more important than operating this very complex cement plant control room. If only they’d let me drink on the job…
Are you tired of hearing me complain about my job? Well, you’re in luck! My ridiculously long work weeks are coming to an end soon, and I couldn’t be happier. How does my employer expect me to waste time on Twitter while working a 70-hour week? Joke’s on them! I do it on the clock. Anyway, here’s all the nonsense that I discovered while I while shirking my responsibilities. This is The Weekly Buzz!
This week has been an absolute nightmare. I have been working ridiculous hours at my day job, and the cell service in my office isn’t even good enough to load Twitter. Luckily, Wednesday was Independence Day, so I had plenty of holiday posts to choose from. Prepare to feel very patriotic. It’s time to crack open The Weekly Buzz.
I’m back from vacation and gotten back to my daily grind. After one shift at work, I’ve decided that it is already time for another holiday. Why is that first day back always so hard? I can’t even drink beer to cope because I’m trying to undo the damage that I did with a week of seafood buffets and booze. Luckily, “Beer Twitter” was actually pretty fun this week! Here’s all the shenanigans worth sharing. It’s The Weekly Buzz!
This week’s mini-rant is going to be dedicated to the horrifyingly low availability of craft beer in Myrtle Beach. Yes, I know that there are a few places with a halfway decent selection, BUT the Grand Strand covers a shocking long chunk of coastline. I don’t always want to drive 30 minutes round-trip just to grab a late-night sixer. Today I bought a four-pack of Miller High Life pounders in a Dollar General. That’s what I’ve sunk to. While I wallow in the depths of macro despair, I submit this edition of The Weekly Buzz.
Today is my eighth consecutive day of work. Six of those days were 12-hour shifts. I work another 12-hour day tomorrow. I’m tired. I’m cranky. There hasn’t been enough beer in my diet, so definitely send some of that my way. My social media time was limited, but I gladly burned the candle at both ends for you, my dedicated readers. Raise a pint for me, and enjoy The Weekly Buzz.
It’s been a busy week. I’m working 20 hours of overtime this week, but that’s not even what I’m talking about. Beer festival season is upon us, and the task of sorting through thousands of festival-related tweets and ‘grams has fallen to me. In the words of the demigod Maui from the Disney animated feature “Moana,” You’re welcome. This is The Weekly Buzz.
After a long weekend and a short work week, all I can think of is drinking more beer. Luckily, there will be plenty of opportunities this summer! So grab a lunch beer — something sessionable, of course — and check out this week’s beer-related social media nonsense. This is The Weekly Buzz!
I’m totally stoked for Memorial Day weekend. I don’t have to work, which in itself is a rarity, and I also used two vacation days to finagle an entire week off. But let’s not forget the reason that we don’t have to work on Monday. Use every sip of beer as an opportunity to toast those who have fallen in service to our country. They paid the ultimate price so that I could post some nonsense I found on Twitter. This is The Weekly Buzz.
I’m far too tired to give you a witty introduction. My body is aching. Migraine symptoms are setting in. I know that these are probably related to the amount of time I spend on Twitter, but I’m just too darn committed to compiling this dumb list of tweets for your enjoyment. My own well-being comes second to you. Submitted for your approval, this is The Weekly Buzz.
I need to wake up at 4 A.M. to go to the gym. I’m not sure that this is the best way to live my life. I should be staying up late, drinking beer and waking up for work at the last possible second. What’s happening to me?! Anyway, here’s a bunch of stuff I found on Twitter and Instagram. Just because I’m not drinking, doesn’t mean you can’t have your own Weekly Buzz!
This freaking weather is driving me insane. First it was cold, and now it’s 90 degrees. I just turned the heat off two days ago. It shouldn’t have been necessary to turn the air conditioner on today. Mother Nature needs to cool her jets and enjoy a fine craft beer. Despite the sweat puddle that’s accumulating under my desk, I still managed to find a bunch of fun stuff on Twitter and Instagram. Sit down in front of your favorite oscillating fan and enjoy The Weekly Buzz!
I want to drink beer, but I don’t want to be fat. After daily two-hour workouts, I’m so tired that one beer makes me fall asleep. This wasn’t the effect I was going for. I just wanted to have a moderately repectable dad-bod. Becoming an old man who falls asleep halfway through an episode of Home Improvement was not the plan. Anyway… Here’s a bunch of stuff I found on the Internet. This is The Weekly Buzz.