As summer comes to a close and we make our way into fall, one thing becomes more imminent than anything: FOOTBALL. And what better way to celebrate the advent of a new season than with some brews? As a native Clevelander and lifelong Browns fan, I know the football season brings with it a roller coaster of experiences spanning across a wide spectrum. So, in anticipation of another grueling season, I present to you the 6 Stages of Cleveland Browns Fandom, as described by beer.
ABV: 6.0% | IBU: 38
If you have been as busy as I have been, going from meeting to meeting, email after email, and working past 5 most days, you need fuel. Now most of us have probably exasperated our coffee …
ABV: 8.0% | IBU: 16
Pumpkin beers have been a contentious issue on PorchDrinking over the past six weeks. Opinions certainly differ on the propriety of drinking pumpkin beer in August, but since we’re well into October, I hope I’m not in the minority in calling pumpkin beer season officially open for business. They’re not for everyone, these pumpkin beers. They tend to offend the Reinheitsgebot in nearly every way possible. Not only do they have adulterating spices such as nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves, but they’re usually chock full of “pumpkin”.
ABV: 4.2% | IBU: 11
I have a secret. I can’t stop buying Boulevard’s Hibiscus Gose. It’s been in Atlanta just a few days, and my hands keep grabbing the cardboard box the sixer comes in. I’ve bought three so far. I can’t control it. Hey, Boulevard, why don’t I just direct deposit part of my paycheck to you?
ABV: 8.3% | IBU: 60
I used to think this brew was best poured into a wide base tulip on a cool summer’s evening. I have changed my mind. This breakfast beer is best served with breakfast. It’s a big beer but not too big. Grab a mug, pour a Founders Brewing Breakfast Stout and grab a slice of coffee cake. Take a seat on your front/back porch with the morning paper. It’s time for breakfast the way it was intended.
ABV: 6.5% | IBU: 33
Stout brewed with dark chocolate and vanilla beans added.
Fat Head’s story began in Pittsburgh, PA, circa 1992, with the founding of Fat Head’s Saloon. In 2009 Fat Head’s expanded to North Olmsted, Ohio, teaming up with Matt Cole (an award winning brewer) to open Fat Head’s Brewery & Saloon. Success came quickly, with the brewery producing over 5000 barrels over its first three years and Fat Head’s beers winning many awards. They expanded to a full-scale producing brewery in 2012, located in Middleburg Heights, Ohio.
Every year on Miami University’s campus thousands of students voluntarily climb out of their slumber at approximately 4 or 5 a.m. for a pilgrimage up High Street. Their mecca lies Uptown where at 5:30 a.m. on the Thursday before spring break, every bar opens inordinately early to pour an Olympic pool’s amount of green colored beer. Today, March 16, is that day. A national holiday dubbed Green Beer Day (GBD).
ABV: 7.5% | IBU: N/A
I’m pretty skeptical of anything boasting an added fruit flavor. 9 out of 10, times it turns out to be a gimmicky mix of artificial tastes and colors—ultimately tasting nothing like the actual fruit. Fortunately, this is not one of those cases. As it turns out, Dark Horse Brewing Co. has put together an exceptional stout that balances a fantastic blueberry nose with dark, rich flavor.
ABV: 5.5% | IBU: 60
Okay, here’s the thing: I’m not exactly what you would call a “beer expert.” I couldn’t tell you the difference between an IPA and an APA, and I don’t actually know what IBU’s are—I just googled that number. That being said, I do enjoy beer and I really enjoy my pal Tristan—so when he asked me if I wanted to participate in the PorchDrinking website, of course, I had to say yes (after first checking to make sure he was serious).