The Quest for the Perfect Beer Prank
Jake Metzler is a homebrewing fanatic who loves to write and share his knowledge with others. When he’s not brewing, you can probably find him rock climbing and/or listening to eighties metal.
With April Fools coming just around the corner, I’ve been thinking about pranks that I could pull on my friends. I’m not much of a prankster, as I feel that tricks can quickly turn malicious, and the ones that don’t are often pretty dumb.
Early this morning, in the twilight hours, PorchDrinking.com fell victim to the same salacious crimes that Burger King and Jeep had been terrorized with earlier last month. While we are deeply disturbed and saddened by these juvenile acts, we are also not ashamed to share the results of this heinous ambush. Mark my words, we will find these terrorists… and we will serve up the sweetest slice of pwnage pie they have ever tasted (thats l33tspeak for we will exact revenge).
While t-shirt websites like Threadless or Society6 are awesome for their incredible designs, fantastic selection, and amazing tees (seriously, they’re really soft) I find them lacking in a few key areas.
- Their tee selections just aren’t nerdy enough.
- I have to wait for a good sale to buy a tee- I can’t bring myself to spend almost 50 bucks on a hoodie or twenty bucks for a tee (OK, unless it’s an Homage tee…Homage tees are my Kryptonite.)
Enter TeeFury, stage right.
The Inaugural DC Beer Festival began as many DC events do: a trip on the metro that starts as any usual metro ride, and then the train cars slowly shift to carry only those destined for a day of fun (minus a few confused stragglers and tourists). I hopped on the train near my house with very few fellow festival-goers, but as soon as we hit Gallery Place, hordes of eager beer drinkers filled the train. The chatter en route confirmed their final destination: the Inaugural DC Beer Festival at National’s Park.
So, just a bit of background – I’m originally from the Chicago area, and I lived in the city for four years prior to moving to Denver in late 2009. I wasn’t really approaching the ranks of beer geek prior to my move, but I’ve been fortunate to retain a fantastic group of friends and family that still live all over the north side of Chicago and a job that affords me the opportunity to make a return trip every couple months. I’ve made it my goal to hit up the best bars and breweries the city has to offer each time I’m back.
This weekend in DC will be one to remember for Beer Lovers. The Inaugural DC Beer Festival is coming to Nationals Park! The festival will run from Saturday, March 23rd to Sunday, March 24th. Sadly, tickets are sold out for Saturday festivities (with a wait list for the evening – 6-9pm – slot), but tickets are STILL AVAILABLE for Sunday, March 24th!
I revel every day at how lucky I am to live in this amazing state that we call Colorado. Much like the incubator that my home state of Kentucky is for fervent basketball fans, Colorado is the perfect climate for craft beer, and nothing fully captures brewing fertility quite like Colorado Craft Beer Week.
In an increasingly connected and digitally literate world, some things remain old-school. Which is part of the reason that ABC, NBC, CNN, the BBC, and seemingly EVERY news outlet ever was obsessed by conclave this week.
Every year on Miami University’s campus thousands of students voluntarily climb out of their slumber at approximately 4 or 5 a.m. for a pilgrimage up High Street. Their mecca lies Uptown where at 5:30 a.m. on the Thursday before spring break, every bar opens inordinately early to pour an Olympic pool’s amount of green colored beer. Today, March 16, is that day. A national holiday dubbed Green Beer Day (GBD).
We are extremely excited to announce a pair of radical parties coming up celebrating Colorado Craft Beer Week! The week of festivities put on by the Colorado Brewers Guild aims to celebrate Colorado breweries, their beer and the people who brew them. CCBW will also feature special tappings, food and beer pairings, educational events and more including the Legends and Rarities event and the New Kids on the Block 80’s Party.
This is part 2 of an ongoing series on homebrewing. For part one on equipment & pre-brewing prep, please go here.
Now that you have the right equipment, you need some ingredients for your first batch. If you are reading this article, you most likely know the four main ingredients in beer: Grains, Hops, Water, & Yeast. Quite simple, but within each of these categories there are a lot of options. While you might be intimidated by all of the selections, your first batch should be a simple one. I know you are probably excited to make the most amazing vanilla caramel mocha latte milk stout, complete with all sorts of fancy spices and ingredients, but that is not the way to start. You can’t be a five star chef without learning the ropes along the way, and the same can be said about being a brewer.
I recently went on a first date to BrewRiver GastroPub in Cincinnati. Although it’s been open since last July, I just hadn’t found the time or the right company to enjoy it with until now. BrewRiver—aptly named since it sits along the Ohio River—gets on board with the local trend for all the right reasons. Their site states, “Supporting ‘local’ isn’t just about local food and drink. It’s also about the idea that when we support one another fully, there are no boundaries to consider and no lines to cross.” When I read that, I had a feeling I was in for a good experience.
I have now been to two beer festivals in the Queen City both planned by Cincy Beerfest, and they do a good job of putting on an event from the two most important aspects – social and liquid.
Yeah you read that right… it’s a beer dispensing arcade game. Just when you thought the only people who played video games were World of Warcraft addicts who drank Bawls Sodas and wore adult diapers, McKinney ad agency created something that having you dusting off your joystick and adding gigs to your hard drive.
With the culmination of Cincinnati Beer Week, local beer aficionados headed to Duke Convention Center for the grande finale: Cincy Winter Beer Fest February 15-16. I went Friday night to snap some pictures knowing basically what was in store— a lot of beer, some new favorites, probably a little bit of hilarity— and when I left I had a night full of lessons captured on film. Here is a list of the top 5 things I learned at Cincy Winter Beer Fest, in photos.
We would like to wish our staff writer Karen Lai a very special congratulations on her engagement last night. Karen started with PorchDrinking when we first formed and is considered Tristan’s faux-sister. Earlier this year she wrote about cooking Chocolate Pretzel Beer Toffee with Rivertown Brewing’s Hop Bomber Pale Ale. Here’s that post and once again a very special congratulations to Karen and Sam!
Before I embark on 40 Days of Water, tonight my church, House for All Sinners and Saints, will be congregating at the Denver Bicycle Café to celebrate Fat Tuesday with donuts and beer. Yes, beer. House for All Sinners and Saints (HFASS for short, and, yes, we do realize what that sounds like) loves beer. In the summers, we hold a “Blessing of the Bicycles” complete with a pizza party and a pony keg of Fat Tire. In the winters, we hold “Beer & Carols” at the Irish Snug, an event in which we turn every Christmas carol into the single greatest drinking song you have ever heard. And you know, that’s how we roll.
The term “beer snob” is being thrown around these days to talk about a superiority complex around the beer one drinks. A beer snob might only drink craft beer and even be particular in the brewery or type of beer. I have recently decided that I will not spend my money on any beer but craft beer. I guess I’m a beer snob, but let me tell you my reasoning.
Mountain Sun Brewing’s Stout Month is coming. And as the immortal Samuel L. Jackson once said, “Hold on to your butts.” Every year, amidst the cold bitter winter months shines a beacon of hope and happiness. This year marks the 20th anniversary of Stout Month for the Mountain Sun family and it promises to be bigger, bolder and more stout than ever (see what I did there?)
Porch Sessions are meant to take you behind the scenes of your favorite breweries to meet the people who make your beer possible. This week we were lucky enough to hang with John Fiorilli the head brewer of Vine Street Pub and Brewery.